Funeral Notes

A week ago last Thursday, we had our quarterly meeting with our national advisory board. One of the members we have a more full relationship with because his son was our guard at the apartment we lived in for the first several months we were here. We became quite close to that family living beneath us, experiencing the birth of their second child within days of our arrival, the birth of a twin-sister’s child within a few weeks of that, celebrations, and just friendship with this couple that we were so fond of. After we moved, we retained the relationship with the son, and through that relationship, also went out to his father’s house (the father is the board member) several times, had meals with them, and enjoyed their family as they taught us language and culture. The father and his wife are the same age as Ann and I, so that also helped in our friendship.

On Thursday, Daniel (our friend), told us his wife was sick with Malaria. We’ve become a bit hard to this as this diabolical disease is so common - so we first find out if the people have been to the clinic, are taking their medicine, and are getting better. If those things are true, then you relax and pray for God’s healing touch. If not, you continue to pray and try to make sure the people get to the clinic. Daniel told us she had been to the hospital and was taking medicine and feeling a bit better, so we were relieved and sent our regards.

Late Sunday afternoon, Victor called us to say his mother (same age as us) had died and they needed some help with funeral expenses. We went out the next day to meet with the family and to help as we could. Both of Victor’s parents are pastors with the Wesleyan church and are quite beloved. Preparations for the funeral were underway and the funeral was scheduled for Thursday morning. We rescheduled our visiting OMS team from the states so we could go to the funeral, thanks to former OMS missionary Melvin Kelly and his wife who are here for several months helping out.

Juka advised us culturally on our responsibilities at the funeral and came with us to represent the Palvra Viva (Evangelical Church of the Living Word) churches and to translate for us (Portuguese to Shangana and visa versa).

The day of the funeral about 0900, we drove to the hospital and we formed a line with a very large bus and about four other cars. The people all met there and we somehow fit everyone in the vehicles and followed the funeral car out to the house of our dear friend. At the house, a tent of sorts had been constructed to shield from the hot sun and we gathered around the casket. I would estimate there were close to 300 or more people present in total, filling the house plot to overflowing. We sang hymns and celebrated the life of this vibrant woman who had impacted so many. There was a program and I was on it to speak on behalf of OMS International and as a friend. In this culture, you write it down and read it, presenting the written version to the family. I learned of this the night before and wrote and translated into my best Portuguese into the wee hours. On the way to the hospital in the morning, Juka proof-read it for me and helped me with some corrections. When it was my turn, I read the letter in Portuguese and Juka translated to Shangana.

During the service, many people spoke and the testimony of this lovely family was something to be celebrated and Lydia's impact on her church, her family, and the community was incredible. The speakers were all eloquent and poised, something that is very common in this oral culture. After the service, they opened the casket, which was a few feet from us, and the smell of death whiffed in our direction. The casket was made of well-painted pressed wood with a spray-painted surface and brass-colored handles and fixtures. A line formed at one person would sprinkle some Johnson and Johnson’s baby powder in the casket, another would spray some perfume – this went on for quite some time but there were so many people, that the family member in charge made them stop and the rest just walked by to show their last respects. This customary practice is related to anointing the body as mentioned in the Bible. The casket was closed and the women from her church lifted the casket and carried it on the dry, sandy, hot road to a nearby cemetery about three city blocks away. As we walked through the cemetery, there were many freshly covered graves, some obviously of children, probably also victims of malaria. The hole was ready and the family members carefully worked together to place the casket in the hole. Then, using their hands, the covered the casket and filled the hole, while the crowd watched, and finishing with the final as shown here.

I was asked to do the closing prayer at the graveside and another missionary friend translated my English into Shangana and we walked silently back to the house. We had another church service, with singing and an encouraging message, an offering for the family, and then we all ate together. We learned about Lydia’s final days, which I want to share because it paints a kind of picture that breaks our hearts. We left late in the day – driving mostly silently home, pondering the day.

Lydia had been to the hospital and was given medicine and sent home. She was also taking herbal home-treatment commonly used for malaria, and they believe the herbal medicines reacted with the malaria medicine and she threw up the first dose. That was Friday and she began to feel a bit better, and skipped the Saturday dose but by late Saturday was very sick, with high fever and chills, a full malarial attack. But, there was no transport (mini-bus or chappas) late at night and they did not get to the hospital until the next morning. In the morning they talked together but when the family went back for visiting hours that same Sunday afternoon, they learned she had passed away. This is a tragic and common story here and heart-breaking for us because we didn’t know, and we can't help but wonder if a better understanding of medicine, doses, and a phone call for help, could have possibly changed events - but we know the family well and they did the very best they could. And where is that divine line between Fatalism, providence, sovereignty, and free-will? If you ever figure it out, you’ll have to tell me – I think it falls somewhere in the ‘great mystery’ of God’s working in the world. But in any case, we know that He is sovereign and we also know full well, that Lydia is truly in a better place.

Pastor Daniel gave an inspiring talk about his wife, emphasizing that to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. He emphasized also that each of us has a limited number of days and that none of us know the day or the hour, but God does; that we should live each day as if it were our last; that each person should be fully committed to serving Christ daily – for this family knows without doubt that the very Creator of the Universe knows their name. This gives great confidence in life and in death, whether here in Mozambique, in America, in any country in the world.

Just this week, we saw government workers walking along the narrow road we take to Khongolote through the town of São Damasso. We stopped and talked with them a minute and they indeed were spraying the inside of the village houses with DDT. There is great hope here that the death rate will drop by factors of 10 from this program as the mosquitoes will go to the vertical walls in the houses and then be killed, before the malaria can be spread to another person. Malaria remains the number one killer in Africa but we praise God for the progress we are seeing in a systematic combating of this horrific disease that kills so many every single day here.

Pray for this lovely and close family as they struggle through the grief and loss, and for the church that has lost their pastor.

“Then he said to Jesus, "Lord, remember me when You come into Your kingdom.” And Jesus said to him, "Assuredly, I say to you, today you will be with Me in Paradise." Luke 23:42 - 43