Another Grandchild

One of our Village Church Planting program Trainers, Nelio, just had a beautiful baby girl. They have named her Dolce (means 'sweet') Nelio. She was a bit overdue but everything has worked out well. It is their first child. We have been involved in this dear family's life for quite some time, participating in their move to a new house, their official wedding, and standing with them in their new church plant. It was a wonderous priviledge sit with them and share in this joyful time of celebration.

But with this comes an interesting question. They asked us to be the Padrinho and Madrinha of this precious child (Godfather / Godmother). In this culture this is a tremendous honor that brings with it great responsibility. It is a life-time commitment where you agree to help with the child, make sure the child is receiving good care, throw parties for the child at the 30-day point when she is introduced to the community, at the 2-year point when continued life is more certain, and other specific times in the child's life. You are to ensure to the detail of when to start feeding the child food vice milk-only, when it is potty-trained, help with school costs, etc. You are expected to be a significant player in the child's life essentially for your life.

We have dodged this before because we think it causes various problems. For one, we probably won't be here in Mozambique for the life of the child, for example. Also, we do not have the cultural knowledge or sensitivity needed for such an important role. We would make the child "different" from the very beginning. We talked with our cultural counselor (Juka) and he agreed that it would be best that we not take that role. So, we need today to go have that discussion with Nelio and Zenia, backing out graciously even though in our hearts we would like to do this. It's hard to explain fully to our dear Western perspective friends - this role is extremely important here and is not one of a title only. We also discussed this with another close friend who said the same thing. Both of these men serve in this role for a number of children and know our hearts well - both advising "no". For example, during times of furlough, important things could happen in the life of the child and our not being present would be a great affront, even though there is a good reason.

We didn't talk about this (or at least not enough that I remember!) in our cross-cultural training although I suspect there is a connection across many non-western cultures. Most missionaries we know (but not all) do not serve in this role for many of the same reasons. We've read several books about things like this since being here and there is as wide a various of opinions as there are opinions. As a general rule, if the person/author has not lived for extended periods (decades) in another culture and fully engaged in the work in some fashion, I don't put too much credence in what they are trying to sell as the longer we live here, the more I understand what I really don't understand. It would take a life-time, truly, and our western "solve the most complex world problem in one-hour" mentality really hinders what we can do in relationships. I only say this because I am probably one of the worst of the worst for wanting quick resolution based on expert opinion, and charging ahead full speed.

We must learn to wait quietly on the Lord as we continue ahead gently, step by step.

Thank you Lord for this precious new life. May Dolce grow to know you and walk in Your paths and fulfill Your plan for her life.

"The Lord, the King of Israel, is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17